Oh, I’ll Tase You Bro
I need a taser. One of those cute pink ones sound adorable. I find it might be safer for me to own a taser than a gun. I’m liable to use it.
When I’m driving an asshole person somehow cuts in front of me in traffic and slows to about 20mph, I could just follow them until I get the opportunity to taser them.
At the grocery store when the two ladies decide to block the aisles because they NEED to yak at one another; perfect opportunity to tase instead of loudly tsking.
When the kids insist on whining even after I expressed my disinterest in hearing it; perfect time to tase. ZZZaappp!
These are just a couple reasons I would want it. I’m leaving out grand opportunities like on my kids friends, obnoxious housewives, blowhards, whiners, Jehovah’s witnesses, racists, people who take up two parking spaces… gosh, the list goes on and on. I’d need to keep that sucker charged.
May 13, 2008 at 3:36 pm
You forgot the folks who insist on blasting their bass-laden awful music at ear-splitting decibels. Is there a way to tase their stereo systems?
May 13, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Hi Chani:
ahahaha! We could give it a try and see what happens!
May 13, 2008 at 4:59 pm
OH I need one too.
May 13, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Sounds like the perfect little stocking stuffer to me. I am going to use it on waiters who stop at the table and ask, “and how are WE today?”
No jury would convict me.
May 13, 2008 at 7:27 pm
agreed, on all counts!
May 14, 2008 at 4:28 am
What’s a blowhard? Is that another bizarre sexual practice - like the Twinkie?
Puss
May 14, 2008 at 8:20 am
LOL, my reasons for wanting a taser extend to those obnoxious people at the airport who think they are macho cops and hassle old ladies wanting to get on airplanes. No delicate pink taser for that job - need a man size black one!
May 14, 2008 at 9:17 am
You could have one designed with bio-electrical leads, a charge-as-you-walk system and solar panels so you can just strap that sucker to a holster on your thigh for maximum usage availability and intimidation! They’ll see you comin’ and they’ll pay attention.
May 14, 2008 at 9:59 am
hahaha! i don’t know that i’d trust you with a taser. you seem the type who could get a little taser happy
May 14, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Hi Em:
Just think of all the possibilities for use!!!
HI Meno:
Dont you just hate that?? Good choice!!
Hi Rachel:
What color do you want yours to be?
Hi Glam:
No. lol! A blowhard is a person who is always loudly ranting and is never entertaining. Someone who is blustery.
Hi Gardenia:
Hehee! Go get em girl!!! Good choice too.
Hi Rick(y):
Can I toss a bucket of water on them first?
Hi Martha:
I think you might be right. But I still want one. The first to get tased would be my boss.
May 14, 2008 at 7:08 pm
If you tase someone, please let me know you’re planning on doing it. I’ll fly out. That would be good.
May 14, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Can we tase people who won’t get out of the way in the fast lane? Or who sit and stare into space at a green light? Or who yak on the phone while cutting me off? Or run right up on my ass when there is another car immediately in front of me and I can’t bloody GO anywhere?
May 15, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Hi Angela:
IF i get a taser I sure will. Somehow, I doubt hubby will allow me to actually carry one.
Hi Citizen:
Yes. I say we can. And should!
May 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
LOL Come to think of it, I could use one too.
Jehovah’s Witnesses…..bah!!!! Those people, I’m sorry, but they are the personification of rampant stupidity. There, I said it.