Is That an Opossum in Your Pants?
Over heard last night after dinner:
“Dad, we had the s-e-x talk at school today.”
”Really? Learn anything new?”
“Daaa-ad, I’m 10, I don’t know anything. When I saw the doctor, he said I started puberty. He also said that sometimes I might find something in my pants when I wake up. But, they didn’t go over that in class”
“Um, huh. That’s crazy. What do you think he meant?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’ll be an opossum.”
“Um, a what?”
“hahahahahaha! Actually, I don’t know what he meant.”
“It means a boner”
“A what?”
“A hard on.”
“A what?”
“When winkie gets big?!”
“Oh. Ohhhhhhh. haha, an opossum.”
May 9, 2008 at 11:16 am
Oh Dear God. That was perfect.
May 9, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Heh… you had me laughing so much over here… damn that was priceless!!
May 9, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Gosh, we didn’t get that talk until we were twelve. Times change.
Puss
May 9, 2008 at 5:27 pm
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
HAHAHHAHAHA!
omg… that was one of the funniest things i’ve read in soooo long. thanks… i needed that today.
May 9, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Dad is a cool guy!
May 9, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Maybe Im a prude. Maybe its cuz Im a relatively sheltered female. Maybe its cuz Im deaf, but…
I dont get it.
Good to see the kid is learning something useful, though.
May 9, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Hey Franki:
I’ve started asking people if they have an opossum in their drawers. hehehe. Cracks me up.
Hi Rocky Mountain:
It still has me giggling! Glad it made you laugh!
Hi Glam:
I had it in fifth and sixth grade, same as me munchins.
Hi Marha:
lol. Kids certainly do make me chuckle with the way stuff rattles on in their heads.
Hi Meno:
Agreed. I think he was mostly hoping he didn’t have to explain too much. But the opossum caught him totally off guard.
Hi Rachel:
Maybe its your sweet innocence. Its funny to me because if a doctor told me I’d wake up with something in my pants, I’d ask for clarification. I wouldn’t just go along with it and then magically add an opossum. Where the hell did an opossum come from??? Kids, they think up crazy shit in order to make sense of the crazy shit they hear. I love it.
May 9, 2008 at 8:12 pm
I could never be a parent for this very reason. I’d totally choke on this.
May 10, 2008 at 5:16 am
The sex talk is another reason why I’ll never have children.
(The other being that I hate the little fuckers.)
May 10, 2008 at 5:46 am
I, um, well, okay. Kids huh?
May 10, 2008 at 8:13 am
THIS is why kids are awesome! lol
May 10, 2008 at 8:38 am
This is hilarious - we have a ten year old in the house too. Coming home all doe-eyed about the little girl at school who loves science. We got him a book - he put it up, and said it was more than he wanted to know. Whew. Why talking to our kids about sex makes most of us uncomfortable I don’t know. Sex is definitely a part of life for everyone. We watch it on our TV’s all of the time, yet when it comes to our kids or our parents we are just uncomfortable and would like to believe they are not sexual beings.
May 10, 2008 at 10:26 am
Hi Jim:
and to think, this is one of the easier moments!
Hi Red:
I hated the fuckers too. And then we had unprotected sex. twice.
Hi Asterisk:
Yup. Kids. hehehe.
Hi Carrie:
Isn’t it?!?!
Hi Gardenia:
Like your grandson, my daughter wants nothing to do with it. I love their state of innocence.
May 10, 2008 at 11:22 am
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the ‘possum it could be done.
May 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Hi Holly:
Chickens are so showy!
May 11, 2008 at 8:16 pm
So *that’s* what they’re calling it now, are they?! FUNNY! Thursday night around midnight I heard, “No, that’s not my phone.” YAY!!!!!
May 12, 2008 at 8:41 pm
“SOmething in your pants”?? Thats a positively bizarre way of putting it.
May 13, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Hi Angela:
lol! At least its what Poor Bill and I are calling it now!
Hi Citizen:
I thought it was pretty crappy to describe it that way. I’m sure my son was paraphrasing, but essentially, that is what he got out of the conversation. Pah.
At least dad was there to set him straight!